What is Your Weird?

“We’re all weird … our individuality lies in our weirdness,
so we might as well be our weird.”

Jennifer Leigh Selig, Deep Creativity

Whenever I hear the word “weird,” I’m immediately taken back to a conversation between my mother and a four-year-old named Wendy. It went like this:

Mu (that was what I called my mother): I’ll fix you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Wendy: I don’t like peanut butter and jelly.

Mu: You are weird, kid.

Wendy: Maybe you’re the one who’s weird.

Mu thought Wendy was being disrespectful. I thought Wendy was the wisest kid I ever knew.

Although Wendy was not put off by my mother’s sweeping statement about who she was, we were not all that savvy as children. Heck, sometimes we aren’t now either!

What happened to our weird?

Interactions like that early on can slowly erode our individuality, our authentic concept of who we are. If we were all allowed to be naturally weird – i.e. veer from the “norm”, whatever that actually is – the world would be a safer and more genuine place.

That isn’t the case, of course, so it’s up to each of us to find that weird that makes us the Yes-Me instead of the Not-Me. It’s a discovery we need to make if we are to truly know who it is who is making this journey.

Besides, it’s fun.

Define “weird” …

The first thing we leap to is the kind of outrageous epitomized by Lady Gaga. (Love me some Gaga, by the way) That doesn’t apply to most of us, nor does it need to.

We’re talking about our authentic quirks, the things that refuse to fit into the boxes and cubby holes and filing cabinets that society says are “normal.” That can be anything:

• From eating tuna sandwiches and cold pizza for breakfast to always wearing purple
• From collecting vintage Coke bottles to sending everyone you know a handmade card for their birthday
• From never taking the same route twice to always eating at a dive on every trip
• From refusing to swear because it’s a lazy form of self-expression to considering a yes before you say no

And it’s not just quirky stuff. “Weird” in the eyes of other people can mean having the courage of an unpopular conviction.

• You are a Christian, but you vote by the candidate, not the party
• You choose not to buy clothing made in sweatshops
• You are accepting of neurodivergence rather than trying to change it
• You talk about God and at the same time refuse to judge those who, well, don’t

Basically, anything that isn’t average, generic, typical or metaphorically vanilla could be considered weird.

Isn’t it great?

Welcoming your weird

The only thing that keeps us from embracing our quirks and our not-the-norm convictions is what “they” think. Who “they” are is different for each of us. Parents, bosses, Facebook “friends”, spouses, our own kids and strangers in a doctor’s office waiting room all qualify.

The question is, do we care enough what “they” think to sacrifice a part of who we are? I’m not saying wear shocking purple to your beloved aunt’s funeral or witness to that poor server who is just trying to take your order. We do well to consider other people’s feelings.

Just not their thoughts.

The people whose opinions we genuinely need to care about already accept us for who we are. It only makes sense for us to do the same. If we don’t, we develop those “sour souls” we talked about last week on Facebook. We beat ourselves up because we can’t be perfect in everybody’s eyes (another FB topic) And we miss out on the fun of being us.

This week’s question:

What is your weird? Maybe something you haven’t allowed yourself to show? How can you embrace that now, today?

Me? Call me weird (please!), but I make it a point to compliment at least one person every time I go to the grocery store. It’s not that hard. People are fabulous.